Oh those fair golden tresses, onto which sunshine melts and morning rises, shall I begin to describe the ways I love that rockin’ head of hair? Well you can start with taking a chill pill for one, Shakespeare. Blonde hair has been the go to colour for celebrities, the butt of all hair colour jokes, the picture of beauty and has morphed itself into a powerful social enigma. It is a force to be reckoned with. This hair colour has long dominated the beauty world not only for its alluring shade, but also for its mysterious treatment. Why? What is it about blondes that capture so much attention, be it good, bad or downright ridiculous (i.e. Shakespeare’s faked sonnet above).
Ever since childhood everyone seemed to just accept the fact that blonde was better. Blonde wasn’t just a colour, it was a lifestyle choice. It can be seen as an agent for beauty, dumbness or even fakery. Although, technically the word fake is correct, because here comes a little fact you can quote me on. No blonde hair colour is natural, since every woman’s hair darkens with age. Which means that any blonde hair you see is bought in a bottle –shocker, I know. One girl I know has the fakest of fake peroxide locks and she’s the mascot for blondes worldwide. It’s our dear little friend Barbie.
Fair enough Barbie was a revolutionised play time doll. She inspired girls to become whatever they wanted with her variety of colourful costumes. This girl was a doctor, a race car driver, heck the girl couldn’t hold down a steady job. Barbie was running all over the world being a high time career woman, dragging ken and her bottle of peroxide along with her. She had it all, including blonde hair. Although I didn’t see her brunette friend doing all these exciting things, or even coming out of her box to play. And herein lays the problem. Little children saw the blonde girl conquering the world and having all the fun, not the brunette.
For over 52 years now spanning Barbie’s existence this has been the case. Even grown adults openly love and idolise this blonde doll, such as Nicki Minaj and her numerous fake bleached wigs (and album title which I so cleverly marketed.) I’m not condemning blonde hair, just questioning its reputation and the stigma that comes with it. After all what’s the big deal? Its only a few strands of hair, it doesn’t define the person. Just because someone is blonde doesn’t mean their dumb, just because someone has brown hair doesn’t mean there smart and just because someone has red hair doesn’t mean their hot blooded (although if you have multi-coloured hair then no offense but your probably crazy).
It would be nice, sometime in the future, when woman kind collectively drops the bottle of hair dye and whips off their ponytails. It would be nice to see a day where blondes, brunettes and redheads are not criticised purely based on their hair colour, but for the person they are underneath. I have a dream.